Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
