i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
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