We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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