There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
