you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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