dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Randomize
