So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Holy sore nipples Batman
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
Randomize
