He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
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