You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
