Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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