Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize