if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
