So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
