Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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