i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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