Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
