How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
