yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
