As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
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