It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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