these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Randomize
