Pappa wants mamma naked
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize
