what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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