Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
