Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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