dude i'm inner monologue high
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
