I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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