So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
