i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
