hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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