Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I should be sponsored by Trojan
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
