Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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