Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
COCAINE IS GR8
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
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