Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Too much gin, very little bucket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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