Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
