Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
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