I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
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