just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
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