I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
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