chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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