Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
