so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I am available for nakedness
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
