last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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