He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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