summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Randomize
