just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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