If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
