stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
My feet surprised me
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
