My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
