just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
