it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
