What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
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