We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize