What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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