you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
