i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
