The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Randomize
