She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
