Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize