i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
