Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
