If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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