I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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