How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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